How not to be an asshole?

When you google “how to be an adult” most of the results that come back talk about preparing for job interviews, managing your finances, cleaning up after yourself, and not being a disrespectful asshole.

These things are all great, and indeed, they are all things that adults are expected to do. But I would argue that they, by themselves, do not make you an adult. They simply prevent you from being a child, which is not the same thing as being an adult.

ideally, adults behave in a mature way. But what people usually mean by adult is taking care of certain responsibilities – maybe the responsibilities that make someone self-sufficient.

Unfortunately, a person can be both self-sufficient and an asshole – so by that definition, a person can be both an adult and an asshole. “Maturity” isn’t compatible with being an asshole, to me.

I would say maturity includes virtues. But being an adult doesn’t necessarily include maturity (or being virtuous).