Empathy

Empathy is deeply rooted in our brains and bodies. It evokes in us the desire to understand other people’s emotions. It’s so rudimentary, it’s actually instinctual.

This type of empathy is what psychologists typically refer to as cognitive empathy. There are many reasons to practice empathy, it’s both good for our personal health and our work relationships.

The problem with empathy is the flip side that psychologists refer to as emotional empathy. That’s our yearning to not only understand other people but to feel their pain, too.

Studies suggest that empathy — while well-intentioned — isn’t neutral. It’s even suggested that it can sometimes hurt more than help our relationships and our ability to lead effectively.

Empathy can make us unconsciously more sympathetic towards individuals we relate to more. This makes us less likely to connect with people whose experiences don’t mirror ours.

That’s because empathy comes from a feeling of sameness. Being human is a good starting point. But from there, biases are impossible to avoid.

Objectively, the distress or suffering is the same, yet the relationship changes your emotional response.

Plus, empathy is unfeasible in the long term. When we’re exhausted and burned out, we’re inevitably less able to give to those who need us most.