Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. According to Professor Hrand Saxenian, Harvard Business School, ” it is the ability to express one’s own feelings and convictions balanced with consideration for the thoughts and feelings of others.”
If you examine many of the psychological tests used for hiring, promoting, and training purposes, you will find that they are designed to evaluate this kind of maturity. Whether it’s called the ego strength/ empathy balance, the self-confidence/ respect for others balance, the concern for people/concern for tasks balance, “I’m okay, you’re okay” in transactional analysis language, or 9.1, 1.9, 5.5, 9.9, in management grid language—the quality sought for is the balance of what is courage and consideration. While courage may focus on getting the golden egg, consideration deals with the long-term welfare of the other stakeholders.
The basic task of leadership is to increase the standard of living and the quality of life for all stakeholders. Many people think in dichotomies, in either/or terms. They think if you’re nice, you’re not tough. But Win/Win is nice… and tough. It’s twice as tough as Win/Lose. To go for Win/Win, you not only have to be nice, but you also have to be courageous. You not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, but you also have to be brave. To do that, to achieve that balance between courage and consideration is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to Win/Win.
High courage and consideration are both essential to Win/Win. It is the balance that is the mark of real maturity.
~ Covey, Stephen R.. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
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