Glamour

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If we look at something that we want, we can begin to distinguish between the thing itself versus the aura, patina, flash, and attractive magnetic effect of a quality that can best be described as “glamour.” It is this disparity between what a thing is in itself, and the glamour that we have attached to it, which leads to disillusionment. So often we have chased some goal and, then, when we have achieved it, we are disappointed. That is because the thing itself does not coincide with our pictures of it. Glamour means that we have attached sentimentality or we have made it bigger than life. We have projected onto a thing a magical quality that somehow leads us to believe that, once we acquire it, we will magically achieve some higher state of happiness and satisfaction.

Glamorization is living at a fantasy level.

Therefore, when we proceed to let go of a desire, we must dissect away that which is an exaggeration, fantasy, and romanticization.

Once we have relinquished the glamour, it will be relatively easy to surrender the desire itself.

~ Hawkins, David R.. Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender

What we hold in mind tends to manifest.

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We can achieve our goals effortlessly and easily once we are conscious of what we are choosing. We can have them directly. We can be attractive, but we won’t get it in a fake way such as driving a certain style of car. We will get it by letting go of our smallness and owning our greatness, thereby reflecting it out into the world. We can easily become that exciting person whom people are eager to know. Just choose to be that person and let go of the block of desiring to be that way. We can have what we want directly without detouring through some fraudulent promise that will lead us to frustration and disappointment. The way to become that exciting person whom people want to know is very easy.

We simply picture the kind of person we want to be and surrender all the negative feelings and blocks that prevent us from being that. What happens, then, is that all we need to have and to do will automatically fall into place.

This is because, in contrast to having and doing, the level of being has the most power and energy.

When it is given priority, it automatically integrates and organizes one’s activities.

This mechanism is evidenced in the common experience, “What we hold in mind tends to manifest.”

~ Hawkins, David R.. Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender

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Needs vs wants

We constantly try to get what we want, while the truth is that we only put in effort to get what we need.

What defines “desires or wants” and “needs”?

Through desires we understand a strong feeling of wanting something, that is usually described as nice to have or expected of us, but does not usually lead to behavior. Desires are things we think we need. They are usually projected in the future and promise our minds well-being and satisfaction. When describing desires, we use words like “nice”, “wish”, “would” or “could” in order to represent an ideal situation in the future where our lives are better and with a higher degree of satisfaction.

On the other hand, needs are desires that our mind decided must be gratified, leading to a behavior. Most of the time they are described as insufficiencies in our lives or something that is essential for our well-being. The key element in defining and understanding needs is that they always lead to some form of action. Because of the subconscious nature of our needs, we find it difficult to describe needs, even though their satisfaction implies rapid and seamless action. Needs are always focused on the present or the immediate future and have a great impact on our personal satisfaction and our mood. When describing needs, we use words like “want”, “must” and “should”, but defining the need.

Usually, we confuse desires with needs. Intrinsic motivation helps us invest some actions into our desires, before we involuntarily focus on our needs, leading to wasted time and effort and the lack of accomplishments in our lives.

We need to be aware of both our needs and our desires. Needs are difficult to change, but we can adjust the level of effort put in satisfying our needs. Some desires are difficult to satisfy.

Balance and success depend on the awareness of our needs and how we achieve them and the filtering of our desires, making sure we invest time and resources in relevant, intrinsic desires.