Future-based language transforms how situations occur to us

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The idea behind future-based language is that the words we use to describe a situation can either limit or expand our perspective on what is possible. If we use language that is negative or focused on the past, we can become stuck in a limited view of the situation and miss out on opportunities for growth and positive change.

On the other hand, if we use language that is future-focused and positive, we can open up our perspective to new possibilities and create a more positive outcome. For example, if we are facing a challenging situation, we could use language that focuses on the negative aspects and limitations of the situation, such as “I can’t do this” or “This is impossible.”

However, if we use future-based language, we can transform our perspective and create a more positive outlook. This might include language that focuses on what is possible and what we can do to create a positive outcome, such as “I will find a solution” or “I am capable of overcoming this challenge.”

Here are some examples of how this would play out:

1. Let’s say you have an important presentation at work and you’re feeling nervous about it. If you tell yourself “I’m going to mess up and embarrass myself in front of everyone,” you’re likely to feel even more anxious and may not perform as well. However, if you use future-based language and say “I am going to prepare well and give a great presentation,” you’re more likely to feel confident and perform better.
2. Another example could be when facing a difficult challenge in your personal life, such as overcoming an addiction. If you tell yourself “I can never beat this, I’m always going to struggle,” you may feel hopeless and give up trying to change. But if you use future-based language and say “I am working towards a healthier future and I will overcome this addiction,” you’re more likely to stay motivated and make progress towards recovery.

By using future-based language, we can shift our mindset from one of limitations and fear to one of growth and possibility. This can help us to approach challenges with a more positive and proactive attitude, and to create outcomes that are aligned with our goals and values.

Our expectations define our reality

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“Our expectations define our reality” means that what we expect to happen in a situation or experience can significantly impact how we perceive and respond to it. Our expectations are shaped by our beliefs, past experiences, and cultural background.

For example, if we expect a certain person to be rude or unfriendly, we may interpret their behavior as confirming our expectation, even if they are behaving perfectly cordially. Similarly, if we expect a job interview to go poorly, we may feel anxious and perform worse than if we had a positive expectation.

In this way, our expectations can become self-fulfilling prophecies, shaping our experiences and reinforcing our beliefs. However, it is important to note that our expectations are not always accurate or objective, and they can be influenced by biases and other factors.

By becoming more aware of our expectations and questioning them, we can potentially open ourselves up to new experiences and perspectives. We can also learn to manage our expectations in a way that is more constructive and realistic, which can lead to more positive outcomes.

Be kind to your future self

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Humans are pretty bad at picturing our future selves. Research has found that when we think about them (future selves), the brain regions that are activated are similar to those activated when we think about strangers — but not as much to those activated when we think about our current selves.

But the same research found that when people could actually see (simulated) pictures of their future selves, then they made better choices.

This suggests the wisdom of really picturing ourselves on the other side of any hard choice.

This really disciplines in a nutshell. By picturing ourselves on the other side, we don’t have to choose what is immediately easy.

The twelve competencies of emotional intelligence

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According to Daniel Goleman, internationally known psychologist and author of Emotional Intelligence, Social Intelligence, and Working with Emotional Intelligence; Emotional Self Awareness is the ability to know your own emotions and their effects on your performance and it involves 12 competencies:

• Self-Regulate is the ability to keep your disruptive emotions and impulses in check in order to maintain your effectiveness under stressful or even hostile conditions. 
• Positivity is the ability to see the best in people, situations, and events so you can be persistent in pursuing goals despite setbacks and obstacles. 
• Achieve means that you strive to meet or exceed a standard of excellence by embracing challenges, taking calculated risks and looking for ways to do things better.
• Adaptability means you can stay focused on your goals, but easily adjust how you get there. You remain flexible in the face of change can juggle multiple demands, and are open to new situations, ideas or innovative approaches. 
• Empathy means you have the ability to sense others’ feelings; have a desire to understand how they see things; and take an active interest in their concerns. 
• Organizational Awareness is the ability to read a group’s emotional currents and power relationships, identifying influencers, networks, and the dynamics that matter in decision-making. 
• Influence refers to the ability to have a positive impact on others and meaningfully engage people in order to get buy-in or gain their support. 
• Coach is the ability to further the learning or development of others by understanding their goals, challenging them, giving them timely feedback, and offering them support. 
• Inspire is the ability to bring your best and motivate others around a shared mission or purpose in order to get the job done.
• Teamwork is the ability to work with others toward a shared goal; build spirit and positive relationships; encourage active participation; and share responsibility and rewards among members of a group.
• Conflict Management is the ability to work through tense or highly charged situations by tactfully bringing disagreements into the open, seeking to understand multiple perspectives, and searching for common ground in order to find solutions people can agree to.

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Why me?

When you experience some bad experience, first thought that occurs is – why me? What did I not do right that I owe this?

Right you owe this, but not because you did something wrong. But, because it brings you a chance to transform and be a new you.

But, there is a caveat. Most of the people do not make the best out of such situations.

Life works with whatever energy you are projecting.

When you respond to these situations by question “why is it happening to me?”, you take a victim position. And if you’re projecting a victim mentality what do you think you’re going to attract? Problems.

Pn the other hand, when a challenging situation appears, if your question is “why is this happening FOR ME?”, you will respond better, with more clarity, with more perspective than someone who believes it is happening to them.

It’s not happening TO ME… it’s happening FOR ME.

It can’t be just words. You have to trust that. You have to believe that.

When you do that, you build a new narraative and a new perspective that is in lined with how you see your future self.

Your life is your own creation… because you truly do decide whatever MEANING you give each situation.

The cells in your body react to everything your mind says.

Create an empowering meaning for every situation.

That is a CHOICE and it’s always available.