Self-mastery is the present-focused realization that we can always be in command of ourselves — body, mind, and spirit — even while accepting that we may not be able to control all situations or outcomes. It’s about learning how to struggle well, starting by turning our attention inward or engaging in interoceptive awareness. Interoception helps us to be mindful of what is happening below the surface that might be fueling our feelings, thoughts, and actions.
In going into ourselves, we don’t try to quash unpleasant emotions or judge them as wrong or weak. We give them space to tell us something new about what’s going on. We observe and get curious about what moral values, obligations, or responsibilities are not getting met; what this says about the distressing situation and us; and how we might find other ways to satisfy them.
Doing so allows us to regain a sense of calm and perspective that is necessary to stay in our “window of tolerance,” which is key for self-mastery. In this way, in any moment, no matter how difficult, we can make an intentional choice to honor our core values, make principled choices, and take wise, ethically grounded action. Mindfulness practices and titration are two ways to explore this internal space.
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